Bridging the Generational Gap with My Teen Son
Parenting a teenager is a journey full of surprises. One moment, you’re their hero, the center of their universe. The next, you’re an embarrassing relic of the past. I had always prided myself on being a cool dad. I wasn’t out of touch. At least, that’s what I thought—until my son, Dane, turned thirteen.
It started subtly. The dinner table conversations became one-sided. Dane, once full of stories about his day, now mumbled responses between glances at his phone. Whenever I asked him something, the response was often, “Bruh, you’re doing too much.”
Bruh? When had I become a “bruh” to my own son? Then came the texts. Or rather, the lack thereof. When I texted Dane, his responses were cryptic—an emoji, a “bet,” or just abbreviated "K" as in Okay! Meanwhile, Dane could spend hours Snap-chatting his friends, creating TikTok videos, or scrolling through memes on Instagram. I realized I was losing him, not in a dramatic, rebellious way, but in a way that felt almost worse: I was becoming irrelevant in his world.
Finding Common Ground
One evening, in a desperate attempt to reconnect, I made a bold move and downloaded TikTok.
The first time I attempted to make a video, Dane cringed. “Dad, no. Just… no.”
But I persisted. I learned the trends. I watched his favorite creators. I even understood the inside jokes behind certain emojis. And one night, after hours of practice, I perfected the griddy dance and posted it.
The next morning, Dane stormed into the kitchen. “Dad, your video has 10,000 views. Why are my friends texting me about you?”
I shrugged. “Guess I’m kinda goated.”
For the first time in a long while, Dane actually laughed—a real, genuine, belly laugh. From that moment on, things began to shift. No, I wasn’t suddenly a teenage icon, but Dane started showing me memes, inviting me to watch Instagram videos, and even explaining the latest slang.
Another breakthrough moment came with music. I was never into rap music, but Dane is obsessed with it—especially Juice WRLD. One day, at school pickup, I had Juice WRLD blasting when he got into the car. He looked at me, almost shocked, but then started smiling. Next thing you know, we were both dancing in the car on our way home, vibing together in a way that I hadn’t experienced in months.
5 Ways Parents Can Bridge the Generational Gap with Their Kids
- Learn Their Language – Stay updated on slang and digital trends. You don’t have to use it (and definitely not in public), but understanding it helps prevent the feeling of being completely out of the loop.
- Immerse Yourself in Their Interests – If they love a certain type of music, TV show, or video game, give it a chance. Watching what they love rather than forcing them to engage in your interests fosters mutual respect.
- Engage on Their Platforms – Join social media platforms they use, but don’t invade their space. Instead, follow popular trends, watch what they enjoy, and use it as a conversation starter.
- Be Open-Minded and Avoid Judgment – Teens test boundaries and explore their identities through pop culture, fashion, and internet humor. Instead of dismissing their interests as ‘silly’ or ‘meaningless,’ show curiosity.
- Create Tech-Free Quality Time – While embracing their digital world is essential, also set aside tech-free bonding time—dinner without phones, weekend outings, or even board game nights. Balance is key.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Have you experienced the same digital divide with your kids? How have you tried to bridge the gap? Let’s start a conversation about modern parenting and learning to connect with our teens in meaningful ways.